Disturbing Trends From The World Of Hip-Hop

So I was on Yahoo the other day and I saw that Weird Al Yankovic had released a new single. I’ve been a fan since I was a kid so I decided I’d head over to his MySpace and check out the video for “White and Nerdy” (very funny BTW, I’d highly encourage anyone to check it out). While there I thought I’d have a read of some of the comments that people had posted about the single. By and large, people thought it was quite funny but a few comments disturbed me.

A few people (I’m assuming they were fans of the original version of the song, a song that I’m afraid I’m not familiar with) had posted some very negative comments. “Weird Al should be shot for %$&£ing with peoples songs like that.” And the like were posted several times and it forced me to speak up in protest against the hip-hop community on several issues that have bee pissing me off for a while now.

Firstly, learn to spell. At the very least, learn to spell your own names. The original song that Weird Al copied was by the humorously monickered Chamillionaire. I don’t even know where to start with that one. I can only assume that with a name like that he, like Weird Al, is taking the piss out of hip-hop music. I mean, seriously, how can you expect to gain any respect for your body of work if your going to call yourself that? Be that as it may, Ludacris, Xhibit, Puff Daddy, P.Diddy, Poodle Doody, (whatever your name is this week) et al. Go and learn to spell the words that you plan to use as your alter ego’s because you just sound silly this way.

Secondly; why not try to set a positive example for your fans. You’ve reached a level where you can make some real changes to your younger, more impressionable fans. Try rapping about something other than drinking $200 dollar a bottle Kristal (which I’ve had, by the way, and I thought it had a nasty perfume-like aftertaste. I’ve had better £6 a bottle Spanish Cava.), treating your girlfriends like “bitches and hoe’s” (the fact that women seem to find these guys attractive speaks volumes about the state of the modern women’s lib movement) and making money.

Take Fifty-cent for instance. First off, surely you could value yourself slightly more than that. Have you thought about calling yourself “Buck Fifty”? At least Buck is a real first name. Secondly, the message he seems to send to kids is, “If you want to be a famous rap star the best way to do it is to sell crack and get shot in the face.” Well sorry kids, selling crack tends to end you up in jail not a recording studio and most people who get shot in the face tend to get a little more hurt than just getting “Fiddy’s” trademark lisp. “Fiddy” think about this when you’re writing your next album please.

Lastly, (and I want to make this very clear) “Bling” isn’t cool, it’s fucking tacky. You know how you look back at old photo’s of yourself and go, “What was I thinking wearing that?!?” Well we have a whole generation of guys who are going to be saying that in a few years. Let me stress this point; Man jewellery should always be limited to watches, wedding rings and Medic-Alert bracelets. Period!

So to those of you who wrote postings to Weird Al that were along the lines I mentioned earlier in this diatribe, let me just say knock it off. You’re not tough or “gangsta” you’re just sounding retarded. When Weird Al is deciding what songs to homage he asks the artists themselves (not their record companies, agents, etc.) whether they would mind if he used their songs and, in most cases, they consent and even help him make his parodies. But I suppose that is the whole purpose of the internet, it provides morons bitch about the things that bug them (ironically like I’m doing here.)